The Terrible Three and One-Thirds

You know what I'm talking about, right? You've all experienced this, right? Your sweet little two year old who is so obedient and cheery suddenly turns about 3 1/3 and it's like waking up to a nightmare.

The fits.

The scowls.

The power struggles.

I spend 3/4 of my day with a child who is either crying or deliberately defying me on some level, 1/4 wondering where my sweet little girl went and who {or what} has taken her place, and about 20 minutes of sheer joy {or rather, what used to be her normal behavior}.

Remember this incident? Great. Occasionally since then, Adjoa was naughty and when presented with her discipline options {no TV show today, or Time-Out} she would always request a "beating". {I want to be perfectly clear, here. By "beating" we are meaning a swat on the behind. Ghana lingo for any discipline of a physical nature is "beating"; they even use that term when one child hits another}

Anyway, she likes it quick and dirty, I suppose, and sometimes I totally understand. It's like ripping off a band aid. Sure it hurts, but doing it quick and getting it over with is better than sitting in a chair quietly for 3 WHOLE MINUTES or forgoing your TV show for the day.

Disciplining a child who spent most of her life with nothing {and who received far harsher punishment I could ever dish out under much more strict rules} is hard. Sometimes I think it's impossible.

I tried taking away toys. She doesn't care. She can play and play for hours without a single toy. When she is in Time-Out she just sits there and sings and sings and doesn't care. She can sit still FOREVER. I thought about taking away school for serious infractions because she loves it so much, but that punishes me too and I don't think that's fair!

Sometimes I think a swat will at least make me feel like she was disciplined. Yeash.

I'm going to try a new thing. {Thanks to input from my mom and my lovely neighbor Amy}

Like pretty much every three year old on the planet, Adjoa loves stickers. So I got a blank job chart and some stickers. She will get to put a sticker on the chart when she makes a good choice. Like obeying mommy when she doesn't want to, or choosing to not throw a fit, etc. I ordered a whole bunch of books from Scholastic - about $3 or $4 each. When she gets to the goal line, she will be able to choose a new story. I'm hoping it works. She loves books and stickers. She really feels good when she does things that make mom and dad happy. Plus, I think it will start to teach her that attitude is a choice.

At least that is my hope. The books should be arriving soon {I'm counting down the days}. I thought it would be important for her to see the books so she knows what she's working towards. Any input there? Do I just get going on it, or is it best for her to actually see the stories, etc.?

Also, I'm wondering if I should have a smaller goal line too - about halfway to the book line, where she can choose a simple prize or a treat.

Thoughts? Suggestions? I'm desperate and open to just about anything.